Incident 260

My annoyance began before we were even in the same vehicle. That night my bridesmaids' had their first dress fitting. Alyssa and I had decided that we would meet at the bowling alley on Rural and I-60 to carpool to the bridal shop and then the hospital. Well, of course leaving work at 5 o'clock can have its hiccups. I can't remember what time I suppose to meet her, but I was late. She called and we "discussed" our options and then decided to meet at the bridal store and then carpool to the hospital. I arrived only minutes after everyone else, so it worked out great.

Guest Incident #268

Hi everyone this is Stacey’s sister Alyssa, aka poohead/aka abroblogstalker. I have the unique opportunity to be a guest blogger on Stacey’s blog!

I wanted to write about incident #268 in which I was the victim of one of Stacey’s incidents.

It was a lovely Thursday night, a great night really because my niece had been born the day before. Stacey and I were heading to the hospital to visit said niece and we ended up making a few pit stops on the way to kill time (baby niece was practicing eating and she needed her privacy!) We stopped at QT to get our brother a soda and there was an incident with Stacey and the bathroom (I’ll let her tell that one) and there was an incident with Stacey getting to the car earlier than me (again, I’ll leave that one to her) but the one I want to focus on is the incident that took place with the Jack-in-the-Box bag from dinner.

To set the stage, we were both very tired. We clearly had sympathy fatigue for the new parents-waiting for text messages at odd hours of the night and for babies to be born is very hard work! We were both a little irritable (mostly Stacey) and short-tempered (again Stacey)…

Ok, so we arrive at the hospital. We’re in the car gathering our things to take up with us. We grab our purses and drinks. The bag from Jack is in the center of the console so I push it towards Stacey for her to grab.

We laugh.

She pushes it back at me.

We laugh.

I threw it at her.

We’re laughing harder.

And then she chose to RAM IT IN MY FACE.

After the brutal attack I realize there is something on my lip…all I know is it feels wet. I start screaming (while laughing my butt off) that I have something on my lip. “What’s on my lip??” “What’s on my lip??” But I’m trying not to move my mouth because I don’t know what is there so it sounds more like “wup on ma lip?” I’m imagining the worst that maybe my lip was cut from the bag or something gross is on there!! Finally after we compose ourselves (sort of) from laughing Stacey looks and says “IT IS JUST WATER”. Somehow the bottom of the bag got wet (maybe condensation from a drink?)

This started our laughing again and we kept laughing until our tummies hurt and we had tears running down our faces. I don’t know which is funnier, her ramming it in my face or me thinking I had a busted lip from it.

Thanks, Stacey, for letting me blog!

Peace out!

Headbands

After reading the comments on my "Famous" blog, I realized that I forgot to tell a very funny and embarrassing story that happened at the Mary Kay party. If you haven't been to a MK party before, you usually sit around a table at what would be a "station" to try out the different product. Generally, you wash your face with their product and then follow with their make-up. It is actually pretty fun if you haven't every tried it before. Anyway...the consultant gives you headbands to hold your hair back while you are testing the product....well at the end of the night, I asked her if I could keep my headband. She responded with "No, I take them home and wash them so I can reuse them." Well she said this with a smile on her face, so I thought she was joking. But she wasn't. Everyone started laughing and telling the MK lady to hurry and get the headband before I steel it and they are super cheep at Walmart.

I looked and sounded like a psycho...but she was smiling!!! How as I suppose to know she was serious?????

Word Verficiation

Have any of you noticed the word verifications that we need to type in every time we post a comment? Just recently I started paying attention to them and I feel like blogspot is trying to be funny...For instance, I just posted a comment and my verification was "gnoosh" which I think is funny when you say it.

So from now on when I leave a comment for someone I am also going to include my word verification...

Famous

Last night I attended a MaryKay party at my friend Kim Moore's home. Many of you know her as the candle lady :) There were a few PartyLite consultants there along with Kim's sister. One of the Consultants, Elaine, brought her daughter Alicia. (sorry if I spelled her name wrong). I didn't talk to Alicia that much, but I could tell that she is a fun and very nice person. She also seems to have a really good relationship with her mom which I kind of admire...anyway, I digress (I have always wanted to say since I saw Kathy Griffith's stand-up show)...and I digress again!!!!

While we were putting on our make-up Alicia asks me if I was in the video, which I didn't understand what she was talking about. Elaine said that she recognized me from the "You Dirty Rat" entry on my blog. I was so excited!!!!!!!!!!! I have been recognized from my blog, and by somebody that isn't related to me!!!!!!! Everyone said that is their favorite entry and they love my blog!!!!!!!!!

I liked Alicia before this comment, but now I feel we can be the best of friends!!!!! I don't know if Alicia will want to be best of friends, but I would like to hang out with her....Good thing Roni and David bought me those Superstar Sunglasses for my birthday. I will need them when the paparazzi start following me!!!!

You Dirty Rat

A few months ago (I know I am behind) I did what I do everyday, walk up the little walkway to our front door. I usually take a look in my dad's garden, just out of habit, but when I looked this day I was greeted by something other than flowers.....

Meet our little friend...the mouse. Okay, I know the title said "You Dirty Rat" but it didn't sound quite right with "You Dirty Mouse". Anyway, I have no idea how I spotted this little guy. Here is a picture of my dad's garden, and this little mouse was hidden in the far back corner balled up against the wall....

When I went inside, I told my dad that we had a little mouse and he didn't believe me. So he went out there to make sure I was telling the truth. Well, of course this was the kind of event that would need documentation. So I ran inside and got the camera and came back out. Dad couldn't believe that I could see the little guy...but he was big, and I couldn't believe that Dad couldn't even see him....here are few more pictures.:

Okay, I really hope that PETA doesn't read my blog because my dad threw little pebbles at the mouse to get him out of the corner. Then he took a hose and sprayed the bushes to make sure that he out of the yard. But after thinking about it, the poor little mouse was probably hiding from all the cats that love to lay in Dad's yard....poor little guy.

The footage that you will see is hilarious...it is very rare that I can actually do something without a bad result. Hence the point of my blog. So, I now introduce to you all Incident No. 252....the first part of it was cut off a little bit...But let me set the scenario for you....after Dad is done hosing down the yard we go to the front door to go inside. When I turn the handle for the screen the handle wouldn't turn...I turn around and look at Dad and he just stared at me and said "No F*&^n' Way!! You locked the door?" In my defense, there was so much excitement with the mouse that I must have locked the screen door on my way out....it wasn't my fault! I had to get outside in time to get pictures for my blog!!! I did inform my Dad about that and his response was full of words not suitable for my blog....

Anyway, to get inside Dad had to climb the fence and go through a window...I will tell you what window in case anyone tries to break in...I placed the camera on the garbage can so that you will be able to see everything. P.S. the part of the video where I throw my arms down is when I get yelled at again and I tell him it isn't my fault....

Oh yeah....the part where I run away I went across the street to borrow a pair of flip-flops to use when he jumped off the fence. There are a lot of rocks back there. Then when I am not paying attention, what a surprise, my dad throws a flip-flop and almost hits me in the head!!!!

Elevators

This morning I got stuck in the elevator at work :( I got in just like any other morning, pressed the button for the third floor and when I got there, the doors started to open and then stopped. They opened just enough for you to put your fingers in between the doors.

I stood there for a moment to sort of assess the situation and to make sure I didn't panic. I pressed the door open button and nothing happened. I was about to call my work to tell them I was stuck and would be late, when I saw some men on the other side of the door trying to open it. The only problem was, there was so much noise we couldn't hear each other. I am not sure why it was so loud, but it was.

When they couldn't get the door open, I just started hitting all the buttons. I figured I would make every effort to get out on my own before I had to pick-up the red phone and make a call. I am not even sure who is on the other line? Firemen? Dang...maybe I should have called...j/k Teddy.

Anyway, after all the buttons were pushed the two men were able to push the door open. Funny thing is, they weren't even elevator repair men. They were there picking up someones recycle bin....

The funny thing is...this lasted all but 5 minutes. I sure felt like forever being trapped in an elevator. Well, this is how my day began....I wonder what else will happen.

Radishes

Eating radishes again today...boy are they spicy!!! Sorry Teddy, no kisses tonight.

Blisters

My cousin Lindsay and I started our first day of walking. We used to do this a few years ago, but stopped. And boy do I show it. Anyway, in an effort to get in a little more shape before my big day (10/24/09 for those of you who might have forgot) we started walking.

As I detailed in one my earlier posts, my dad got me a pair of MBT walking shoes. They are really good, and boy can I feel the burn when I wear them but I need different sock. I have the worst blisters on my heels and on my big toe!!! Have you ever heard of such a thing...anyway, I have another pair of socks that I am going to try tomorrow.

Hello My Nemesis

As many of you know, I have an issue with choking. I have decided that choking has become my nemesis. Dictionary.com defines nemesis as the following:

nem⋅e⋅sis  /ˈnɛməsɪs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [nem-uh-sis] Show IPA
Use nemesis in a Sentence
–noun, plural -ses  /-ˌsiz/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [-seez] Show IPA . 1. something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.: The performance test proved to be my nemesis.
2. an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.
3. (initial capital letter) Classical Mythology. the goddess of divine retribution.
4. an agent or act of retribution or punishment.

I believe that each of those definitions describes my relationship with choking. Even though many of you are laughing or scratching your heads wondering how I can have a "relationship" with choking, it is real and it can happen to anyone.

For the past few years, I have had to make sure that I don't have anything edible (i.e. food or medication) in my mouth when I'm: walking, running, laughing, or talking. To be honest, I can't do anything other than sit there or there is a chance I will choke.

People always wonder why it takes me so long to eat, well I realized that I don't touch my food while I am talking because I will choke. I would rather be the last one eating so that I can have a conversation with someone without the anxiety of another "incident".

Which leads to me to the point of this entry, tonight, while telling my dad how the funeral went I had to take some vitamins. They are the size of horse pills and I have to cut them in half. I almost had a close call while trying to take them whole and I was by myself the other day, but I was able to cough it up and spit it out. While my dad is taking to me, I try to hurry up and take one of the halves, so I can respond to my dad. I should have taken my rushing as a sign, but before I knew it...disaster struck.

I started to gag, and I told my dad I was choking. He responded with "your fine, just breath and swallow." I was able to talk and swallow, but then it really did get stuck. I started to grab my neck and run towards my dad. He got behind me and tried give me the Heimlich. Mind you, he had to get in a big sigh of annoyance before doing so. He got behind my and gave a little squeeze. I was still gagging, started to cry and my face started to turn red. Before my dad could really do anything, the pill started to move down. Then I was fine. We both stood in the kitchen in silence just to make sure I was ok...

Alyssa always tells me I need to relax when I feel like I am choking, and if I wasn't sick I don't feel it would have been an issue. But I promise, this time it really did get stuck. Ask my brother, he really had to give me the Heimlich after I choked on a chicken finger after I got my braces on, so I do know what it feels like to really choke. That time I let it go so long my face started to turn colors.

I cut the remaining half of the pill in half, meaning I have to now cut them in fourths to make sure this "incident no. 200" doesn't happen again. :( Oh, to be a fly on the wall...but at least vegetables don't come out of my nose when I eat them...

Good Looks, Honesty, and Warnings

I want to start this entry off with a reminder that I drove my mom and my grandma to the funeral of my sister-in-law's grandmother....and I am sick. Or it's allergies, I can't quite tell.

Anyway, by the time we left the funeral it was around 8:30 at night. I was a little loopy because I was tired and it had been a long day. But for some reason, my Grandma was cracking me up. I don't know how often anyone really sits down and listens to what she says, but by golly, I finally figured out where I get my quirkiness from. SHE IS A HOOT!!! What initially set it off was, my Grandma was telling me and my mom where the reception for the funeral had been. She just kept saying it over and over again, when I finally asked her what the heck she was talking about, she replied with "I am telling you where the reception was," "I know Grandma, I was just there you don't need to tell me where it was at." "Stacey, I was saying it out loud so you could tell me if I was correct. Arlinda is going to ask me where I went tonight and I want to be sure to get it right." That was the first time I busted out laughing.

The second time was when we were on the freeway, and I was driving in the HOV lane. My grandma asked me what the lane next to the HOV lane was, and I told her it was the shoulder. She responded with "Okay, so that is where people go when they have car trouble..." Then she looked at the road in front of us and said the funniest thing....wait for it...."and this is what you drive on."

At that point, I couldn't hold it back and I was laughing so hard. Grandma, of course, didn't appreciate that and started to explain what she was saying. After her explanation, which was ok, I told her to think about how someone on the outside might have taken that. With that, we both laughed.

Then, that is when it happened....the flashing lights appeared out of nowhere and I look down at my speedometer. I pull over to the right and waited. Grandma only made one comment....in the beginning. When the officer came up he asked me if I knew the speed limit....I did (65 mph)....then he asked me if I knew how fast I was going....I did....."When I saw your lights come on, 80." That is when Grandma reacted...she didn't like hearing my speed. I could only respond with "I know Grandma."

When the officer walked away my mom, oh yeah she was in the car the whole time and didn't say a peep until, "I don't know why you told him the truth." I responded with, "I am going to get a ticket either way, so I figure, why not go down with a clean conscience...."

All the while I am hoping that he will give me a warning, but remembering that I only have luck on getting through on radio shows. The officer returned and did give me a warning!!! Can you believe it. He told me that I need to pay more attention and be careful. Then Grandma told him it was her fault, we were just coming back from a funeral and our minds were elsewhere. Plus it was her car and she should have been keeping an eye on me.

I leaned over and told the officer "You might have given me a warning, but I am going to hear it all the way home. And when my cousins find out, I met be better off getting a ticket :)" He thought it was really funny and even proceeded to tell Grandma that it is good to let her hair down and feel the need for speed. I wanted to make a comment that he just pulled me over for speeding, but I didn't want to risk it. I had already made two jokes with a good result, I didn't want to press three.

After we pulled away and continued our journey home...I told Grandma that I think the officer gave me a warning because he thought I was good looking. She responded by laughing really hard, and "No, I think it was because you were honest." If that isn't a hit below the belt....But my mom came back with, "No, I think it was how respectful you were to your Grandma and you apologized."

P.S. If you ever want to hear Grandma really bust a lung laughing, make a joke at how good looking you are....Apparently that is her weakness ;)

Radio Head

KMLE Country 108 is a local radio station here in Arizona, and they have a contest every Monday called "I had the best weekend!" Listeners call in and explain why they should win a certain prize by telling what they did over the weekend and why it was the best. Well, I took a chance on calling in and made it through!!! I explained to them that my family and I tried out for the "Family Feud." They were full of questions and they were very excited for us!!! Tim and Willy even asked me to keep them posted on whether we made it on the show!!!! How exciting!!!

P.S. I apparently have a knack on getting through on radio stations, hence, Cosmo Radio and now this!!!!

Dipolma

Adam came over to my house tonight with a little package.....my diploma!!!!! I need to get a formal frame from Phoenix College so I can bring my diploma to work. Then eventually I am going to get another copy of my diploma and hang it up next to Adam's in the condo.....

They Try To Make Me Go To Rehab.....

Each staff member has to come into my office to sign in every morning. Well, this morning I was in talking with my boss and I didn't get to see anyone come in. After my talk, I walked to the back to say hi to Courtney and Jacob....but when I turned the corner I didn't see Courtney, I saw Amy Winehouse!!!!!!!

SD

My sister and I are going to San Diego this weekend for a little r&r. I am sure there will be plenty of things to blog about when I get back as I am sure a few of you remember the last time I went to SD with my sister.....it was very eventful.

Bad Day

I am having a really bad day today...I haven't had a day like this in a long time...but all day I have been listening to Sirius Hits 1 and they have played "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas three times now and everytime I hear it all I think about is my cousin Stephanie doing the robot on Cousin Day. It puts a smile on my face everytime....thanks Stephanie.

Gatorade

I really love Gatorade but I feel that it gives me really bad heartburn....the worst heartburn in fact.

It's Official

As many of you know, I was lame and had to take my Humanities class over again. I took a Film and Literature course over the Summer. It was eight weeks long and I have to tell you it was so much fun. I wish I had taken this class the first time around.

The basis of the class was to describe the differences between two mediums (books, movies, plays, etc.) Our first assignment was to watch Jaws and pull out different things from the movie. Apparently I had never seen that movie from start to finish before, and I was biting my nails the whole time! Then we had to watch and read Stand by Me and Shawshank Redemption. I never new that Stephen King wrote both those books! They were classics and I enjoyed watching them. It was even more exciting because Adam had never seen Stand by Me.

Our last two assignments were the last four weeks of class. We had to pick a movie that came from another medium (book, play, novella, etc.) Our teacher was very strict that we could not choose a Nicholas Sparks book. He said that he could only take so much of A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. This was really funny to me, because Nicholas Sparks is my all time favorite author and I really wanted to write about The Notebook.

I put some thought into my selection and gave my teacher two choices: Twilight or Running with Scissors. I had a feeling that a lot of people would choose Twilight and I wanted to get a good grade, so that is why I gave him two choices.

Of course, my teacher chose the hardest one Running with Scissors. If you have never read the book or watched the movie you should. It is about a young boy who is forced to live with his mother's Therapist after she goes crazy. That it obviously a Reader's Digest version.

Anyway, my last assignment was due on 7/22. I just looked at my assignment and my teacher was very happy with my work. For each assignment he gave me great feedback, by telling me my first assignment was good but he needed to hear a little more of me in my answers. The second assignment was great, but he said I made some silly grammar mistakes. Oops.

I called the Admissions office at PC and they told me I should receive my diploma three weeks from the date my grade is posted. I am so excited to be officially done...or am I? I have been thinking seriously of getting my Bachelors degree in Human Resources or Business Administration....something like that. But that won't be for a few years :)

Thanks again for every one's support.

Karaoke

Since my last randevue at the Rodeo by my brother's house and the "incident" with Tino...I don't know if I will ever have an open mic opprotunity like I did that night....anyway, I have been researching songs to sing on my next trip out there....and I have found it.

I cannot wait for you all the hear it :) And you will never guess what it is. It isn't Hanson.

Sam's Club

Today I met Adam for lunch at Sam's Club. The lunches there are so cheap!!!! You can get two slices of pizza, a bag of chips, and a large drink for just $1.50!!!! And you don't need to be a member to go to the food court!!! Anyway, as we were standing in line, I was trying to decide what to eat. I had finally decided on a slice of pizza, when we walked up to order I hear the lady in front of me ask for a side of sour kraut for her polish hot dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????????????????????? I never knew that you could ask for a side of sour kraut. That was honestly the best news that I have heard in a while, well besides my cousin Lindsay saying she got Cousin Day off of work. So I ordered a polish hot dog combo, added a little mustard to the phd and then added the kraut....it was amazing!!!!

That little piece of information, the sour kraut not Lindsay, has forever changed my ordering dilemma at Sam's Club. I think that I might even write a letter to Sam's Club saying thank you for that little miracle.